Finding My Freedom As A Mother – What’s Your Wishlist About Freedom?
You may never find freedom as a mother. For some reason, you will find such people who will remind you that you are a mother, and you can’t do this or do that. So, here’s a collection of my Freedom Wishes that I really want to get one day. But before sharing these, there is only one such thing that you can do to find your space. And that is IGNORANCE! Because “Ignorance Is A Bliss”
Here Are Some Things That I Want Freedom From, As A Mother
“Leave Your Job Now”
“Oh, you should leave your job now; otherwise, who will look after your baby?” And infact, the most hurtful sentence is, “Why do you want to go out and take up the job when your husband is earning enough to take good care of both of you?” Heard anytime? I have many times. So this is the foremost thing that I want freedom from, these creep sentences from the known ones or the society. Arey, its our life, and we will decide how to go ahead with it. Also, check out this beautiful tale by a mother on ”Motherhood – A Fine Line Between Ambition & Wishes.”
Unnecessary pieces of advice
Oh! This is the most important thing! You must have faced this problem many times when you became a new mother or in any upbringing stage. Some groups of people always advise you what to do and what not. For example, my kids can’t eat spicy food, and they always eat food without chili. Is this a crime I committed? Because always people taunting me for that saying “apko pehle se shikhana tha” (You should have taught them to eat every kind of food they get) Yes, I tried from the beginning, but they can’t. So, what?
They are my children, and I do what’s best for them. So, if you want freedom from this unnecessary advice, start ignoring them. Stop explaining yourself to them. I hear what people say with my blank face and do what I like to do for my kids.
Expectations From Mom
This mom culture is very restrictive, and it is everywhere around you and another thing which every mom would want freedom from as a mother. Because, the expectations from moms everywhere are so unrealistic. This society made many rules for mothers; some are sensible, and some are unsensible. So, I have decided that I will only think about myself and my kids. I believe we don’t need to please others only to make sure that they praise our parenting skills. If you are sure about your parenting, ignore everyone around. Read this article on Mothers with depressed mood: help-seeking from husbands and child-rearing behaviors.
Judgemental Society; Or Maybe Relatives
They say, “it takes a village to raise a child.” And the same village judge a mother at every point. Below are some of the “so-called” phrases we all heard once. And I really want to get freedom from these judgemental relatives.
- “You’re a working mother, right? Her mother is a money concerned woman; Oh! she is a poor child.”
- “Oh! You’re a stay-at-home mother who is always free to look after her kids & spend her husband’s money.”
- “Oh, look at the poor kid, he’s crying, and his mother isn’t paying attention” (they haven’t heard the term “toddler tantrum,” I guess).
- “Are you still breastfeeding your two-year-old daughter? Why?”
- “He still wears a diaper; why did you not potty train him yet?” (Please come, stay with us & we won’t let you go before you potty train our child)
And I’m sure there are hundreds of such taunts in that same village. So will I ever be able to be free of these judgemental remarks? No, I guess!
Pressure From Other Moms
Yes, do you know the mother of that highly brilliant kid who can write at the age of 2 and a half, at such a young age? Nah? But your daughter/son refuses to even learn the numbers? I know many such moms and many such kids who are extremely brilliant. And my son is no less, even if he doesn’t do any of those tasks.
Every kid is different and so are their passions and hobbies. So, never underestimate your kid and never compare them with others’ kids. If that Momma is asking you such questions, tell her, “I am her mother, and I am free enough to decide to let my kid enjoy her childhood and not to put such brilliancy pressure.”
My “Little But Long” Advice To All the Mothers
- Go out, make friendship again & rebuild your company.
- Explore some places which you really want to explore with your friends.
- Do something that you really like.
- Don’t tie yourself with others’ needs and happiness.
- Don’t forget or lose your identity.
- Try to learn new things find out some opportunities for yourself to enjoy both motherhood and financial independence.
- Ignore them who always give you advice or compare you and your kids with others.
- Reassure yourself, pay attention to how you feel, nourish yourself, teach yourself what you need to know to take care of yourself.
- Don’t compare your kids’ progress with others’ kids; rather, encourage them to do their best.
- Get support from your husband and family; it will solve all your problems, and you will get your freedom back.
Finding freedom as a mother is not that challenging. Just take some help, relax, and go with the flow, looking for various means for your freedom. And, always remember, “Where there is a will, there’s away.” At last, I would like to add here one most important thing: motherhood is not a prison or pressure, but if we take some reasonable steps, we can enjoy our motherhood to the best. So, Love your child and enjoy motherhood!