Motherhood…..A Fine Line Between Ambition & Wishes
Oh God!!! Look at her son. He is just 10 months old, and he can already stand on his feet. I’m sure he’ll learn to walk by his first birthday. And look at you Vihaan, you are already 14 months old and you are still crawling. When will you start walking??? Vihaan which is your eyes beta?? Where is your nose??? Vihaan is 15 months old and still, he doesn’t know these basics. And look at Disha’s son. He is just 11 months old and he knows so much???
These were my thoughts, rather, my ambitious fears about my son, who is just 15 months old now. And then I realize I’m soon becoming a mother whose ambitions know no bound….a ‘mental mother’ I should rather define myself as.
I always thought to myself that I would never force my son into the so-called “rat race of today’s competitive world”. But consciously or not, I already have. But as they say, ‘Better late than never. I have realized that we Mommies are way more ambitious for our children than our children themselves.
I don’t care whether my son knows all the letters of the English vowel or not as he is already 15 months old. I’m happy to see him healthy and playful and enjoying his toddler life. I’m not bothered whether he would hold a rank in his class every academic year or not. I will be happy if he is able to learn what he should at that age. I’m not bothered that while eating he soils his clothes and does not know his table manners yet. I’m happy that he enjoys his food and is a healthy growing child. I feel elated to see that at this tender age of 15 months, he is ready to share all he has with others.
Do I care whether he will grow up to be a Doctor or an Engineer?? Whether he should be an Advocate like his grandfather, his parents, and carry on the legacy? No, I don’t. All I wish for him is happiness and good health.
I want to merely inculcate our values into him so that he grows up to be an independent human being. I want him to see the world, not through our eyes, but the way he wants to perceive things. Does this make me a bad mother?? Am I talking like a selfish mom?
As a mother, I want to teach my son what is right and what is wrong. But then as a hyper mom, I don’t want to choose for him. I want to trust his choices. I want him to make mistakes and learn from them.
But then there is always a tug-of-war going on…between the ambitious Mumma and the wishful mom. But I guess we mothers are like this. Even our moms were. At times, we are like this cool, easy-going mummy, but then here comes the hyper-active, ambitious Mumma.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines ‘motherhood’ as the ‘state or experience of having or raising a child’. But can we actually define ‘motherhood’? I feel since ages no one could actually define ‘motherhood’ and for ages to come, it’s not gonna change.
‘Motherhood’ is a plethora of emotions…a state that has no start and finish line. Motherhood cannot be just defined as having a child. It’s not like motherhood begins the moment a child comes into this world physically. It begins the very moment the tiny dot is conceived in the mother’s womb and continues till she breathes her last.
Motherhood cannot be just defined as raising a child either. Even a senescent mother lying on her deathbed or a mother in a vegetative state of health still enjoys her motherhood as her deep-rooted concern for her child never fades.
It is said that a mother gives birth to her child. Well, can we not say a child gives birth to a mother? Well, I would rather prefer saying that Vihaan gave birth to a mother in me….why only mother….rather Vihaan gave birth to his parents.
All said and done, with a meager 15 months experience of motherhood, all I realized is that there is no strait-jacket formula to motherhood. All mothers are ‘mental mothers’, at least I am. And I am super happy about it.
Only that I wish I’m able to distinguish that fine line between ambition and wishes…..always and forever.
Thank you for reading 🙏🏼