Positive Discipline & Getting Your Child To Listen – Is It Impossible?
As a mother, we have to play many roles, and we need to perform many jobs; positive discipline and making our kids listen is one of the toughest jobs of motherhood. It’s a job that takes lots of patience and time. Whether it comes to your screaming toddler or a violent sibling, it becomes really difficult to control our own anger.
I am a mother of twin boys; therefore, this job became more demanding for my role. In this blog, we will talk about positive discipline in kids. Discipline mustn’t always be meant as “to punish” or “to teach”. It should be a learning behaviour for both kids and parents.
Although every kid is unique and needs different ways of handling it, here I will share some tips with all you new mommies (as per my learning) about how you can positively discipline your lovely kids and, at the same time, how you can make them listen as well.
Kids always follow and learn from their parents. As a parent, show the exact behaviour you want from your children. So if you ask your children to behave in a certain manner, you should behave in the same way as well. For example, if you request your children to finish their food quietly, you should also switch off the gadgets while having food. This behaviour encourages the child to listen more with discipline because they have seen you follow the same instructions you want from them.
Some Tips To Inculcate Positive Discipline In Kids
Listen To Your Kids
Kids always want all the attention of their parents. So for this reason also they throw tantrums, so just listen to what they have to say. Let them talk their heart out. This activity may include respectful mutual dialogue about what they think and want. While doing this, you can connect positively with your kid.
Engage Them With Your Chores
By doing this, you will get more time to spend with your growing toddler, and while working together, you can teach them about positive discipline and during this process, they will learn to listen as well. Also, they learn basic life skills while having this activity.
Instead Of Instructing; Use Paraphrasing
This point means expressing whatever you want to instruct your kids using different words or quotes. For example, instead of saying, “pick your toys”, you can say, “let’s see how your toys will increase the decore of our room if we put them on shelves”. This kind of talk always positively affects a growing and demanding mind.
Have A Direct Talk With Your Kid
Always have a direct talk with your kid and tell them what you want exactly. For example, if you want them to finish their food, ask them to do the same instead of saying, “I want to see the bowl empty”. This can confuse the little developing brain.
Tell Them About The After-effects
If your kids are messing up things, tell them about the consequences and after-effects of that activity. By having this kind of communication, you can positively discipline your kids. If they are jumping from the sofa, just tell them how that can hurt their little body. Because if you ask them just to stop that activity, they might not listen to you.
Distract Them Creatively
At times when your kids are out of control, try distracting them to something else before they become more difficult, like going for a walk or talking about their favourite toy. This way, you can channelise their energy towards positive behaviour. Read here, How parents should talk about sex with their kids.
Sometimes, positive reinforcement is misunderstood with bribing. This doesn’t mean bribing; instead, it means rewarding. So, whenever your kids show good behaviour and get disciplined on their own, reward them with their favourite food or narrate their favourite story. To get your children positively disciplined, this given activity can do wonders.
Sometimes It Is Better To Avoid
You should be well aware of times when you need to avoid your kids’ tantrums, even in public places. To grab attention and to get their demands fulfilled, kids start showing tantrums anytime, anywhere. During that situation, you should not use any harsh words or negative behaviour towards your kids; instead, simply avoid paying attention to their tantrums. Trust me, this will also positively affect your kid, and eventually, they will learn to behave in a disciplined way.
Praise, Praise and Praise
Kids automatically get disciplined positively if we regularly praise their good behaviour. Whenever you see any good or paise worthy behaviour or activity of your little angel, do not miss that chance to praise them. This is the best way to make them feel proud of their being.
Take A Pause & Think Twice
In last, I will suggest you take a pause, calm yourself down and think twice about how much learning and instructions these little ones can take, how much discipline is needed at that point. For example, at the age of 3.5 or 4, if you ask them to complete their studies in a single sitting, this can irritate your kid, they may start disliking the studies because every teaching should be done in a stepwise manner and as per the required stage of the kid.
Words From Author
While negative discipline means punishing, yelling or hitting for a kid’s bad or inappropriate behaviour, positive discipline encourages children to be more productive and make better choices.
Always remember you are just like any other parent, who is equally working hard; there is no failure in the journey of motherhood. Replace Punishments With Strategies That Encourage Better Behaviour.
If you inculcate positive discipline in your children, they will eventually listen to you because, gradually, these activities strengthen the bond between you and your children. And also, this behaviour will make them stronger for their future endeavours. So, let’s meet next time with a new topic; let’s keep learning with our kids.