Chapter 3 : One Aspect Of Failure: Each Kid Is One Of A Kind
Recognition of oneself and being obsessed with self-love isn’t a crime, dear, but the limits should be noted.
The problem persists when we, as parents, see our dreams coming true through our little ones. Then, when their little and tender shoulders have to bear our dreams or our failures rather, they get stressed.
‘I wanted to be a doctor… But circumstances didn’t get right. No problem, my kid will make this come true……’.
What’s that? Is it fair to load him/her with such decisions? Don’t they deserve their own abilities, interest, and career choice?
Let them fly high and experience in their own way. Exploring the world from their best perspective will help them excel in their lives with flying colors. A passion drives you better than forced decisions. No doubts, as a parent, we are completely natural when we guide them. We want the best for them is the truest truth. But letting them choose is also our responsibility towards them.
Each one is different. These are little moons 🌙 and stars🌟. They will shine when their time comes.
Each kid is one of a kind. They can not excel everywhere. We, as a parent, need to understand that they have different capabilities and expertise. So, why compare?
When we instill our wishes and dreams to enchant their lives, we forget to say that it’s completely fine if they don’t want to pursue the same or want to go for something else. Their achievements are always celebrated. But what about the scars of failures? ‘
To my kids, I would like to text that their happiness to me is more important than their success accompanied by stress.
Each Kid Is Different
Let me start with a short story. Once a girl, a good student, and a great daughter were married at a small age. She always dreamt of being recognized as a career woman and not as a homemaker as she has always seen her mother struggling for little things and dependent on even minor decisions. But destiny had planned something else, and she was married.
All were typically Indian household types. I think all of you can understand here as more is explained in fewer words.
Then when her daughter was born, she promised herself that she would not let history repeat itself. Her daughter will choose her career as an IPS. The baby is still smiling in her arms, and she has made the tough decision. Is it right? I am not doubting her as a mother but is this fair.
Then soon, three years passed, and she ran behind the little girl forcing her to study all the time. She wanted her daughter to be the best. But where is her ‘bachpan’? Once lost, it will never come back. She became worse as the child reached teenage. The little girl worked hard, was a topper of the class, was the star of her family and friends. Teachers were never tired of admiring her. Her adolescence was too lost in books.
Now starts the phase she needs to work hard to qualify for IPS. But she viewed that she was not interested in the field, but her mother’s dreams pushed her to study and prepare day and night. Unfortunately, the outcome wasn’t a happy one. She didn’t qualify for the exam. Got fewer scores. And……and….and 😭 her mother still sits at the door waiting for her daughter to return…. 😭 It’s almost four years now, and she is still waiting…… may be failure didn’t give the poor girl courage to face her mother back.
This can be any daughter. So, let’s change the trend of success to many chances and choices for everyone. Let’s embrace them with the magical words, ‘YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLION.’
Code Red: Stop
- Demoralizing the ones who can’t cope with the success of their friends and family.
- Burdening their shoulders with your dreams.
- Stressing their lives with your decisive goals.
- Exaggeration of success.
- Misbehaving on their failure.
- Proving them worthless as compared to their peers.
- Making them your gadgets and show off means.
Code Great: Allow
- Training them to enjoy failures at the early stage.
- Celebrate the scars failure leave on their innocence and thought process.
- A happy environment before and after the results, irrespective of the results.
- Them your positivity and company no matter what the circumstances are.
- Motivation to restore and restart.
- Trust the ability to ensure them a safe and protected environment.
- Enchanted and lively life of care and mental health.
Winding up on a positive note, I would like to add a few lines:
You are my star,
You are my pride,
Always remember dearies
From a mother’s heart 💖 you never are far…
Feel free to come and hug…
In tough times.
I am always there for you 🥰
In your success and failure.
Dedicated to my kids ☺️