”Before We Judge”
I didn’t fit in the group, so I tried fitting myself in her shoes AFTER being judgemental.
Groups, subgroups, gossips are quite common, especially in the desi communities of foreign lands. I was newly married and flew far away from my home, friends, and the comfort zone I most often refer to.
For an introvert like me, it takes a little time and space to actually catch up with new people.. being a hobbyist in various fields; gossip was never my cup of tea.
Few months flew by, hurray I was expecting a new life.. after family, it’s all friends …friends like family until you hear back the gossip that goes around behind you.
Maya…don’t mind I’m telling you this Sakshi was telling “you don’t fit in the group,”.. said Priya
Probably the only sentence in the huge casual chat with Priya that struck in my heart, resulting in wild mood swings. I gracefully distanced from Sakshi but, in some instances, gave an indirect taunt just to burst my feelings out.
Sakshi, who was 5 years older than me, been married for 6 long years, sometimes points about someone’s parenting, risk in pregnancy, etc.
I DID judge Sakshi, from her attitude to the character, only to realize later that she was having fertility issues.
It’s been a really long marriage, and the family pressures were at the peak. In my comfort zone, google is my friend. I surfed and surfed about fertility issues; trust me, it’s really deep.
I tried putting myself in Sakshi’s place. The everyday video call to parents and in-laws will be a paragraph of advice to seek help from a better doctor.
The uncles and aunties who connect once a while comment about the food, weight, life’s and advises to pray for the child.
The cousins and friends who got married later are now pregnant and flaunting their pregnancy belly.
Facebook and Instagram and flooded with pregnancy photoshoots, newborn shoots…
The hope of two dark lines continues every month just to get disappointed later. Maybe she wanted to scream and tell the world that she is waiting to hug and cuddle her tiny human.
Maybe the frustration of not having a child made her put herself up to the people… making her look through the negative sides of any pregnant woman.
Maybe it’s all about some support she wanted but couldn’t ask for it either.
The shopping cart would have been strenuous to push as she passed through the kids’ section in Walmart.
The stress would have probably made her gain weight; reducing was no easy.
She would have lost herself walking in the park while other kids play.
It took a while for me to really understand Sakshi. I’m still in my comfort zone with my hobbies, family, and my little girl Miss.M but I’ve made it to throw my ego out and send positive vibes to her.
Motherhood is a unique roller coaster for each one. If we could phrase some words, the ride is a great mixture of thrill, happiness, joy, horror, fear, anxiety, sadness, temper, nightmare, cool, simple, beautiful, and many more.
We often judge another mom for their parenting, lifestyle, and what not? Life is beautiful when we live it with grace; before we judge her for WHAT she is doing, make a small effort to understand WHY she is doing.
Time flew by, and Sakshi has a handsome little boy.
No matter what, ”breastfeed or bottle-feed
Screen or no screen
Routine or flexible
Let’s not judge.”
It makes a difference… be the change that you want to see.
Every mom is a unique creation her love for the child is beyond the skies.
Spreading love and positivity
Happy Mother’s Day ❤️