How Did My 3-year-old Son Start Obeying me? I Wish I Had Tried This Before….

There is nothing new that I did… I just changed my ways. The important thing here is “APPRECIATION” Simply means “Higher levels of happiness and optimism.” And it truly happened in my case.

Many of us forget to show our children appreciation and acknowledgement when they do something right & show positive behaviour. Appreciating them is important to the growth of their self-confidence. For a child’s self-esteem, a simple “Good job!” in response to a chore as easier as putting their toys back can do wonders. It instantly motivates them to do things better.

I won’t say, Hitarth never listened to me before, but it was more like ‘DEPEND ON HIS MOOD.’ If he wanted to agree, he would; otherwise, he ignored. For example, sometimes, he just refused to put his toys back after playing and would only do so after I shouted. And this is where I was wrong, I guess!

We often expect our kids to clean the house and do their work without complaint, but we usually forget to appreciate them. Adding more to it, we sometimes keep reminding them what they haven’t done and forget the little things they have actually done.

Frankly, I was not more worried that he doesn’t obey me because I thought I might expect much from a 3-year-old. But almost a month back, when I mostly heard NO from him, I thought to change my ways of PARENTING.

So once, on an ordinary day, he agreed to do something (I don’t remember exactly what I asked for). So he did that particular task & as usual, he got appreciating words from me like, “thank you, you did a good job, you are my good boy”, but this was very normal for him to hear every day.

And here is, what I did differently is, when his dad was back from the office, I told him, “You know what? Hitarth is a big boy and a good boy now; he obeyed me & helped me in everything”, and in return, he also appreciated Hitarth saying, “Wow! You have become a good boy now.”

The minute we praised him for what he did that day, he understood that we would like him to do it again & every time. Also, he may have realized that his actions are being observed. So he replied, “YES, Papa! Maine sara kuch kraya Mumma sath, ab mai good boy ban gya.’’

And that was it! 

Children want love and attention, so they will try again and again to get your praise. If we show our children how much we appreciate them, they won’t feel ignored. As adults, we need to understand that our kids need and want our undivided focus & attention. Keep reading to know how this appreciation thing benefitted us more.

Since then, whenever he does something good, I tell his dad the same way I did that day, and he gets excited to hear his praise every time.

So You know, what more can a mom ask for, right? I am not saying- to keep praising them unnecessarily & ignore their bad behaviours, but you should also be aware that criticism undermines the child’s self-esteem to the very core. So, try to appreciate it whenever you get that little chance.

And now, before doing anything, Hitarth starts praising himself. He keeps saying, “Mama, I am a good boy; now I have grown up, and I accept everything Mumma says.” And I am like, “YEAAHHH.” I hear this same sentence at least 20 times a day now. LOL!

When he doesn’t listen, I ask him, “if you are a bad boy now?” And immediately, he agrees. So now, I would share some benefits of appreciation or, I would say, what behavioural changes occurred in me & Hitarth after I used this trick.

  • Improved discipline
  • His screen time is managed.
  • He lets me do my work peacefully.
  • Started eating his meals without a phone, THANKFULLY!
  • Puts his toys back in the box every day without me asking for it.
  • He agrees on the timing of our park visits, which was definitely not the case earlier.
  • Keeps the house clean and shows me every time after doing it because he knows he did a good job and deserves appreciation.
  • And much more….
  • And for me, I am less stressed with NO shouting at all & I WOULD SAY I AM AN EXTREMELY HAPPY MOM NOW! TOUCHWOOD!

Lastly, I would say giving your child attention in the form of appreciation is one approach we can always opt for.

If kids do not get attention this way, your child will feel neglected and find other methods to get your attention – ones that you most likely will not approve of! Therefore, we must express our gratitude for our kids in some way.

It is crucial to show appreciation for the hard work and efforts that your children have put in by letting them know how much you value their contributions. Imagine this as a type of encouragement that is directed toward the kids.

Be sure to let them know that you are paying attention to even the smallest steps they take toward improvement and that you are communicating this to them. For example, telling a kid “good job” when they do their homework on time or “well done” after they tidy up their room properly can do wonders for their ability to develop excellent discipline as they grow up.

I hope I have been able to help you all moms a bit with this important yet encouraging tip.

Namita Aggarwal

Namita Aggarwal

I am a full-time mom and a part-time blogger. When I am not running around my 2.5 yo little world, you will find me sitting in front of the laptop; tapping fingers. I’m an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate reader (not books, but blogs on Internet).

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